“What should I do with my life?” 😳
I think everyone remembers being asked in school, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
And as kids our answers were something like, “An athlete, a doctor, an astronaut, a teacher, a nurse, a coach.”
It is a fun activity, especially when we dressed up as the person we want to be.
However, deciding who you want to be in life and what you want to do in life are two different questions. When taught to kids they are mixed together. But, you’re not what you do. What you do is an expression of who you are.
Thus, exploring who you are and your unique skills won’t so much help you decide what you want to do as much as it will reveal to you how best you can express who you are. The position - athlete, doctor, teacher - may be the same, but how you perform in it will be worlds different. For example, a person who identifies as an athlete may experience an identity crisis when he suffers an injury or ends his career. However, if he perceives the game as an expression of who he is, then after an injury or after his career, he can pivot how he expresses who he is - like Kobe Bryant who after playing adapted his mamba mentality towards writing and other areas. Additionally, a person's performance will be fluid, lighter, and better overall.
In this guide, I hope to equip you with an effective mindset, as well as several resources, to help you explore and express the Point of vYou.
Activities✍🏻
Whereas it was taught to many to decide a position, such as doctor or teacher, writing down intentions/elements of what you want to do will help clarify the role you want to do. That’s why I like the following activities. One reason this approach helps is because we may have a limiting belief about a certain role, such as teaching or coaching, from childhood experiences, which keeps us from trying that role. For example, a person may have had negative experiences growing up with teachers, which led them to believe they don’t want to be a teacher because “teachers are rude and don’t care” or something like that. However, that belief is not true as there are thousands of teachers who love their job and genuinely care about kids.
Mindvalley & Lifebook Story
What do I want to experience?
How do I want to grow?
What do I want to contribute?
Activities and journal prompts from the books Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself and Becoming Supernatural by Dr. Joe Dispenza
Designing an Ideal Day and/or an Ideal Week
Activities that help me build awareness of where I am:
(In Article: The less I do, the more I am: Rosh Hashanah 5781)
White Puzzle Life Activity - On a blank, white puzzle, I would draw what I really care about and love. I would do it again for a second and third time but starting from different angles of the blank puzzle. Then, I would break up the first three and put the pieces randomly together for a fourth puzzle. I took a photo of it to the silent retreat with me and it looked at it for insight daily. It was very insightful in how the puzzle presented not only a seemingly odd combination of the previous three puzzles, but it presented images of where I worked on myself at the retreat.
GANTT Chart - Since there are many beautiful ideas and projects I would like to do and some moments in time are more fitting for some rather than others, a GANTT chart helps me see on a larger scale all of the projects I have, so I can see when I have engaged more directly with them. It also helps me keep track of them all.
Average Amount of Alignment and Law of 10s - Adopted from *The Illusion of Money* by Kyle Cease, this practice requires looking at all the activities one engages in and rates it on a scale of 1-10 (10 being I love it). The rating is how it feels to the body without having to analyze it. If you have to think about it, it's not a 10 i.e Eating healthy - no brainer 10. The aim is to do more of stuff that is a 10 for you. The A.A.A is then taking adding up the total and dividing it by how many activities you rated. The final number is the average amount of alignment one is connected with what they are passionate about doing.
Kylego - This activity involves writing something that will happen in the past tense as if it's already done. I did this during weeks I coached basketball and would write how I wanted the games to go and how the kids played. It helped me feel like it had already been done, so once game time was on I was much more present and calm. The purpose is to tap into the feelings and emotions the desired intention will generate within you. Why? The body doesn’t know the difference between and experience and a thought, so doing this activity gets the person in touch with how they can be in tune with what they want now.
Dispenza's mind map (Chapter 2 Becoming Supernatural) - At least once a month, I will draw a circle with my name in the center and then all the people, objects, things, places, or situations in my familiar reality and the thoughts and feelings tied to them. For example, a person may have a coworker who they think and feel hate around. This would reveal an external thing that the person is using to reaffirm an addiction to hatred.
Questions. In pair with the above activity, I'll ask: Where am I placing my attention? Where am I giving my power to? Asking Empowering questions (as mentioned in this article I wrote)
When Choosing to read something, watch something, or do something ask, "is this a journey I want to take? " Often we know how a show or book will end and we regularly hear that life is all about the journey and not the destination, so I found this question helpful in making decisions.
Somatic Decision making I first came across this quick technique in The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. I stand with feet together, hands to the sides, eyes closed and ask my body what is my yes direction and it leans to the right, I then ask for its no direction and it leans to the left. Then I ask yes or no questions to see which way my body leans. It has provided much more intuitive answers for few last minute decisions I had to make.
Mind Map: Mind Mapping is very well-known for taking notes, but I found it helpful for looking at a month at large. The name of the month is the middle circle and the connecting circles are the main activities or focuses for the month. The visual assists in seeing what's most important and what things, if any, can be moved to a later date and time or month.
At the end of each month, I use the Pareto principle: What 20% of inputs produces 80% of results?
For more Journaling Activities, checkout my Ultimate Guide to Journaling.
Look at your Hebrew name can also provide insight into your purpose. Checkout this video I did with one of my Rabbis, "What does your name tell you about you?"Also, on page 120 in Taming the Raging Mind by Rabbi Gil Locks, he writes:
to learn about unique traits you possess, the problems you face and their solutions, study the Torah portion read on the day of your birth.
Tools🛠
Tools to “Equip” yourself (from article Are You Equipped to Love?) with to ensure you’re on the top of your game physically, mentally, and spiritually. Therefore, you will be able to increase awareness of and then apply the necessary tool toward the yetzer hara, or the ego, and feelings of separateness. These tools support your wellbeing, which has a direct influence on your decision making and clarity of thinking. In turn, assisting in revealing your purpose and living your purpose.
Nutrition & Exercise - checkout Activate your Vagus Nerve, which includes the podcast I did with Dr. Habib and my notes from his book. Additionally, checkout other performance related podcasts towards the bottom of the Are You Equipped to Love?
Orderliness - In the Hayom Yom (day by day) lesson on Tammuz 7, it is brought that the Baal Shemtov, the Maggid of Mezritch, and the Alter Rebbe were very intentional about orderliness. We see that when things are set up in an orderly way, it allows for a flow of influence. When the external environment - home or room - is clean and orderly it facilitates clarity of thought and the internal environment.
Meditation - See that the other person is you, you come from the same Source. If there is a disagreement in opinion about something, separate the stance they have or the action they take from their identity.
Journal - write down the thoughts you have and the things you reacted to, and consider how you will respond differently if it were to occur again. This action sets intention and actually primes your brain and body to respond that new way in a similar situation.
Sleep - I think we’re all aware of the importance of sleep.
My Podcasts🎙
My Articles📖
3 steps to zoom out and focus on the positives — Mind Maps, The One Thing, Celebrate and Live as if it’s accomplished
Does God Really Laugh at our Plans? - 8 Steps to get God to Laugh with you throughout your plans
Puzzle of the World🌏 — “Your fellow is your mirror”
Sacrificing… Uh NO Thanks! — About morning routines
Book Recommendations📚
Mastering Life by Rabbi DovBer Cohen
The Big Leap by Dr. Gay Hendricks
The Code of the Extraordinary Mind
The Illusion of Money
Taming the Raging Mind by Rabbi Gutman (Gil) Locks - The Guru Jew
Anything You Want by Derek Sivers
Steal like an Artist
Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach
Success Principles and the workbook by Jack Canfield
E^2 by Pam Grout (podcast with her here)
Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza — the journal activities.
Toward A Meaning
Inspiring Quote(s)💬
What lies beside you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you -Ralph Waldo Emerson